Yes, that’s where I am – New York City. It was one of those things, really. I have a good friend whose lease was ending just around the time I was returning from Thailand. He offered, I happily accepted. I’ve always wanted to live in New York city and now couldn’t be a better time. I’m single, I’ve paid off all my credit card bills (except that fucking AmEx card), and I have nothing tying me down (property, children, etc.). We have a really cool apartment on E. 14th Street (fantastic location!), that is actually not small! No, it’s not the apartment from Friends, but jesus christ, who the hell can afford that fantastically unbelievable apartment?
I thought it would be so easy. I arrived in NYC with enough money for my first month’s rent and a nice, hefty (it was to me!) chunk to spare. I’d buy a bed, maybe get a cellphone, buy some home stuff. In fact, on like the first full day I was in NYC, my roommate and I (we’ll call him “Dogbert”), went to the magical Bed, Bath, & Beyond where I slammed down a hefty chunk of money. I wasn’t scared because it wasn’t ALL my money and I’d be working any day now.
Yeah, work. Now, this was another thing I had little fear about. Through my whole life, the only thing that has gone about 100% right in my life – total success and a lot of happiness – have been my jobs (I shudder to say career since I am already 30 and have barely scratched out one). From 15 years old to 15 years later – now, I have ALWAYS been working. I’ve been able to snap my fingers and get a job, starting immediately. And nearly every job I have ever had has offered me a promotion or actually promoted me in some form. My last job promoted me from a teaching position to director in just a year. Part of that, honestly, has to do with the lack of competent talent (and the overabundance of ex-pat psychos), but part of it has to do with my own pukingly puritan ethic. Now, I have been in NYC for six weeks and … NOTHING!
I am unemployed.
It’s not for lack of trying. I think I have applied for about fifty jobs in the past couple of months (no kidding), been only on TWO interviews (both of which I thought I was going to get the job, and wasn’t even contacted to be told what a loser I was). I have looked on job boards (HotJobs, Monster, JobBank, gov’t sites, idealist.org, etc.). I even went to a Border’s gigantic job fair where after three interviews and some sort of phone survey to see if I was a thief, was told they’d get back to me by Friday. It’s now the following Thursday. For a job that only paid $7.75/hour (criminally low for NYC), and three interviews, you’d think I would have at least deserved a “piss off” letter.
Well then, I do what you do – I marched off confidently to a temp agency. After cooing at my resume and giving me big smiles, they told me that there was nothing for me at this time. “What? Nothing?” To me, a temp agency is a place where you go in, they shake your hand, give you some half-desirable job, and you’re off! Data entry, secretarial work, flipping burgers, who the fuck cares? The woman advised me to sign up with three other temp agencies. Again…what?!?! I definitely had no idea what I was getting into. I signed up with three others and only one offered me a job – one for which I had to get a background check for (fingerprinted, the whole works). At least it was something, and it paid $20/hour!!! One other agency did offer me a one day, three hour job. I took it of course, but *SIGH*
Within two weeks, my money was gone (holy crap grocery stores are REALLY expensive here, though you can get a piece of pizza as big as your head for nothing!), and I was still unemployed.
Well, here I am, all these weeks later, and I’m back at that $20/ hour office job. It’s not so bad. I basically fill-in for secretaries (*cough* excuse me, Executive Assistants) who are off on vacation. It’s good pay, very little work (though I actually hate that), and it’s not too far from home. After my first assignment with them, they requested me back personally. See, I told you I do good work! I just need to get a foot in the damn door! The only drawback being I can’t email from here (firewalls, grrr), and so I sit here all day wondering if I have gotten a phone call or email from a prospective employer, only to rush home at the end of the day and only discover nothing on the phone and four emails from my mother.
Rent in NYC, as everyone knows, is not cheap and I have yet to come up with my entire share (I hand over almost my entire paycheck each week to my roommate like some sort of pathetic, indentured servant). I’m almost there, but that’s not how it works with rent. Luckily, I have a very understanding roommate (it doesn’t hurt that he has a very good paying job that makes rent almost effortless for him). That aside, I know many others wouldn’t find it in their hearts to take my piddly paychecks every other week and let me slide. Hooray for Dogbert!
I’ve never experienced this before and I find it astonishingly stressful and demoralizing. Feeling unlucky in love, having family problems, or financial troubles are all commonplace to me, and don’t bother me too much. But this is something I’ve always excelled at and found relatively easy. I don’t even really understand what is going on. Are my cover letters and resume that bad?? (Yes, I have had a few people look at them and offer me comments, but they seem to think they’re fairly on the mark, though they at times tend to be on the long side). I’ve always thought myself excellent in interviews, so why did the only two I have ignore me til I went crawling to them? (“Ummm remember me? I assume I didn’t get the job!”). Also, the total lack of money thing is very stressful as well. Though I haven’t been too terribly fortunate in the funds department in my life, the past three years in Thailand have been relatively comfortable and worry free. I cannot CANNOT tell you how much of a relief, stress-reliever, etc. etc. it is not to have to worry about money every fucking minute of the day. Having to pass by things you really want, having to put off things you really need til the next paycheck or two, having to be embarrassed when that familiar “decline” beep spurts out of the register. Now, after three years of monetary bliss, I’m back to a life of heavy carbs (bagels, cereal, toast, pasta, mac-n-cheese), and wishful thinking (ohhhh there’s Wendy’s…oh that spicy chicken sandwich is soooo good…ohhhhh when I get a good job…ohhhh). I miss fruit and vegetables too (way too expensive right now). I used to eat TONS of fruit in Thailand.
Well, I guess I’ve vented all the shitty stuff about NYC and haven’t gone on about all the great. And there is a lot of great. I really do like it here. Despite my desperate need for something aesthetically pleasing (green grass, blue water), it’s hard to resist the charms of NYC. And as with anywhere gigantic and urban, the real way to experience it is to have a ton of money (trying to experience the “authentic
I guess most of the good stuff you’re already familiar with. I mean, I’m not living in some relatively unknown city, making it known to the masses “Wow, that New York, what a town!” For now, my joys are small (yes, that pizza is damn good!). I’ll tell you more later. Maybe after I’ve got a job.
No comments:
Post a Comment