New Kid in Town

A childhood friend of mine is in town and staying with me. We've known each other since we were five years old and have grown up together on the same street most of our childhood 'til graduation day (when I happily took off days later). I don't get to see her that much anymore, and am very excited she's here.

And she brought her kid.

Her daughter is nine years old and an only child. As far as "spoiled" I would say 'yes' and 'no.' She is not horribly spoiled in the sense where all you fantasize about is dropping her out a 12-story window, but since she is an only child, she has that sort of whiny, need-to-be-the-center-of-attention, used-to-getting-her-way kind of thing that can grind on your nerves and test your patience. Most of the time she's a pretty happy and animated kid, but she does need to be the star of the show all the time which is very annoying when you want to catch up with a friend you haven't seen in two years.

I wouldn't call the child klutzy or destructive, but since they've arrived, the following have happened, in no particular order:

- a large picture frame fell off the wall and the glass smashed
- the 20-inch TV and cable box catapulted off the TV stand and onto the floor (THANKFULLY not broken!)
- the kitchen sink clogged (with Lucky Charms)
- the shower drain clogged (with god only knows)
- my keys were dropped down the elevator shaft
- the blinds in the living room window were pulled all the way down and will no longer roll up.
- my large basket of make-up/hair stuff "fell all by itself" and dumped itself all over the floor
- mysteriously, my expensive, last-for-six-months eye makeup remover now only has a dribble left in the bottle
- my cats aren't speaking to me

That's all I can think of right now. That's enough. I know there's a couple more. To be fair, I cannot directly contribute each thing to the daughter (let's call her Britney), but when stuff that doesn't normally happen starts happening, you get suspicious. Truthfully, I'm a little bit terrified of what might happen in the next few days (they're here 'til Thursday). I feel powerless to stop this tide of fate.

And to try and be even fairer, we have done some great things while they've been here. I think my friend is afraid she will never go on a real vacation again (besides the surrounding areas in Arizona where she lives), and is doing one of these "pack 500 activities into each day" kind of things. As someone who lives and works here, that is just too exhausting.

But I did discover that you CAN go onto the roof of my building and seeing as how I'm on Avenue C, I had an incredible view of the fireworks! (though I missed the majority of it waiting for the elevator technician to show up with my keys). I got to go to the Met which I should have done by now, but never got around to (though Britney basically sprinted through the whole museum and whined when her mother lagged behind). I also saw Spiderman 2 (in my beloved Astor Plaza theater) which I thought kicked ass! Britney was quite good then.

I always go through this strange thing with people, particularly guests. It's like, I let them kind of take advantage of me, and I get super pissed off inside, but then I'm like, "They're the guest, you have to show them the time of their life. It's just a small bit of inconvenience for you! It's worth it if they have a wonderful time!" But somehow, the resentment inside me, though I try to hide it, kind of shines through and then the person ends up resenting me. I'm shit socially. This is why I should live alone...forever!

Like, last night, after an exhausting trip through the Met and a substantial amount of time spent in the NBC "Experience" store, I told my friend and her daughter that I was going to head home because a) i was exhausted, b) i had lots of laundry to do and c) i had to work tomorrow so couldn't run myself ragged today. All of these were true, but also, there was d) I need to be ALONE and away from you, no matter how cool you are! It's not just them, though I needed to get away from Britney for awhile, it's just that I can be like this with anyone if I'm spending 24/7 with. It's just too taxing on me. After living alone for the past 8 years (it's only the past 7 months I've had roommates again), it's very difficult for me to be in close contact with an individual non-stop like that. I start to feel suffocated and cranky. I thought I was going to KILL my mother during her two weeks in Thailand with me. With a whiny child, it's unbearable. Back in my apartment, I felt so free. I cooled down, played computer games, ate a gallon or two of chips and salsa, soothed my cats, watched copious amounts of Law & Order, took a shower, and did the laundry. It was great. I thought, maybe about 2 hours of freedom. That was about 6pm.

Then it was 9pm. Then 10pm. Then 11pm. No call. Oh god! My friend in NYC with a kid and she's like dead or something! I tried her cellphone -- no luck. Well, I told myself, maybe she did get those half-priced Broadway tickets after all and is enjoying a lively showing of The Lion King. Or, maybe she's in the morgue!

She finally called about 15 minutes later -- they had been spending most of the time at the Empire State Building -- and they were coming back. They wouldn't return til past midnight. I was kind of pissed off because I had to work the next day and would be getting up at 6:30p.m. My friend had already hinted earlier that she was a little disappointed that we hadn't gotten a chance to really talk since when we get home so late at night, I make sure they're settled in and then go to bed. Well, damn, I've been fucking exhausted each night! And it's not like I've been going to bed at 9pm either; it's been late! I do want to talk to her, but it's hard to have a heart to heart when there's Britney around. She stays up just as late as the mother.

I have grown nervous that my long-time friendship with my friend will now suffer due to my annoyance. It's hard to love a friend who is growing increasingly annoyed by your kid, I know that. I was hoping that maybe tonight we can have one of those long, lazy dinners... though I'm also concerned that it's still another week til payday and her visit has slowly drained my finances (she's been very generous with me as well).

It's funny, before I was a teacher, I wasn't a great lover of kids. I didn't dislike them, it's just that I was never that person who says, "Oh I love children!" I always thought that was just a crock of shit -- something someone says to try and sound like a good person. When I became a teacher, and eventually had my own class (6th graders), finally, after awhile... I fell in love with them. I mean, I just loved them so much, I lived and breathed for them. Even today, I find myself coming up with great ideas for them, and then I realize that I'm not their teacher anymore (I'm not anyone's teacher anymore). When that happened, when I started to just love them, I found that I started to love all children. When I saw them on the street I often smiled or talked to them, and I found that I had a minor gift in communicating with them. Children (as well as cats) have always been drawn to me whether or not I wanted them to be, but now I welcomed it.

But, now, after about 7-8 months in NYC, that feeling is beginning to fade away. Now, I often find children to be annoying -- an obstacle in my way. This feeling really has more to do with the parents whom I find absolutely fucking intolerable (see some of my old posts regarding parents and children), and of course, those feelings spread to their kids. I still resent the parent marching down the street with their SUV-sized stroller acting like they're driving a fucking tank through Tiananmen Square. I'm not going to be run into the street by a baby stroller because you think you have some sort of moral imperative! *pant pant*

I'm calm now.

And now, after spending time with Britney, I'm starting to wonder about having kids. I've talked about it before, how so many of my friends are consciously choosing to never have children. I've been fascinated by this, and admiring it, though never really wanting it for myself. Still, at this moment, I want children, or at least one, though I wonder if I am unselfish enough for one. I feel like it's taken me my whole life to be happy, feel good, be relatively well-adjusted, to enjoy being alone, to be content with the way things are (except money), etc. Now that I'm enjoying myself, it's hard to imagine having to take care of a kid. I just am so totally selfish a person. And what if my kid sucks? It's not like you can take it back to the pound.

Well, I've written plenty and my lunch break is over. Time to go....blah.