Shop-n-Buy-Bye

So, I've given my two weeks notice in at Shop-n-Smile. Hooray! And I can say in all honesty, it was one of the biggest moments of relief in my 3+ decades of life. Now, the job isn't a total nightmare - I've had worse - but it has gone on so steadily for six months now, and has changed me from a normal person into a constantly-exhausted drone who is beginning to detest the human race - so it's probably a good time to quit.

Not without a fair amount of guilt though. Since Beau couldn't substitute teach or drive a school bus all summer, our income took a nose dive and we've had a tough few months. He's back to subbing - and surprisingly, already nabbing several jobs, but he's not driving the bus. And of course, he's still working at Wally World, a job he just might possibly hate even more than I hated Shop-n-Smile, since he works even longer hours there than I do, and also due to the fact that 95% of their employees are either total assholes, complete dumbasses, or both. So, by my quitting Shop-n-Smile, it guarantees another loss of income and kind of locks him into Wally World for awhile (though I have repeatedly pleaded with him to find something else). I just really really need a rest. I think I'd like to go back to a second job in a few months, maybe around the Christmas season (Barnes & Noble again?), but right now I just need to be able to go to my 9-hour day job and come home at night and have a normal dinner and just NOT work. I'm tired.

One surprise is that all my managers have risen up in this sort of group-lament-entice-me-back kind of thing. In the past couple months they started to let me know just how much they value me there, but once I put my notice in, suddenly I'm employee of the universe. Sunday night my manager looked truly sad, and kept saying, "Isn't there anything we can do? Please stay. You're one of my favorite and best employees." The next night, the female boss said, "You're the only employee I can trust to do a good job. This is awful." And last night, a different male boss said, "Have we done enough to try to get you to stay? Remember you get 10% off all those Christmas presents! Is it Shop-n-Smile or something personal? What can we do?"

This is all very flattering, of course, but you have to weigh it against the fact that more than half the staff is below the age of 19 and act about half that. They do a piss-poor job and piss and moan at everything. I wouldn't want to supervise them, no fucking way. One guy last night said he could finish his area (1/3 the store, not including apparel) in "about 20 minutes." My combined areas are domestics and housewares. It takes me two full hours to do domestics alone (housewares considerably less). It would take me about 20 minutes just to leisurely walk the aisles of my area. So, I work hard and do a good job, but I probably look even more stellar next to my co-workers.

Another reason I want to quit so bad is because, like my short-but-insanely-intense time at Target, working in retail makes me HATE people, and sadly, women much more than men. I have seen people do such disgusting, rude, insensitive, inconsiderate shit, day after day. Just last night while folding rugs, my nose was assaulted by the smell of a discarded Wendy's meal, complete with open barbeque sauce packet, shoved behind a rug. WHO the fuck DOES that?!?! You'd like to think that it's a rare thing, but in reality, it's not. It just makes me sad, really. Deep down I want to be Anne Frank and truly believe that we are all basically good, but increasingly (just in the past six months alone!), I have seen so many examples of human indecency. Yes, indecency.

Besides the various half-consumed food and drink I find discarded, people are also constantly breaking, tearing open, pulling apart, and just messing up various items in the store, then shoving them in various "hiding" places, often in a different area than it originated. One of the ones that pisses me off the most is curtains - of which we have a WIDE selection. Despite the fact that a full-sized sample of EVERY. FUCKING. CURTAIN. is hanging right next to the rows of packaged ones, people STILL rip the curtains out of their packages to have a look. Now, if YOU can't get the thing back into its packaging in a neat, folded way, how the hell do you think *I* can? I'm not some Vietnam factory worker who has mastered the kung fu art of curtain folding/packing. And now the product is basically ruined, since who would want a curtain that has been stuffed unceremoniously into a plastic package, and now resembles a wrinkled ball of dirty laundry?

The other thing I detest is the general attitude of so many customers. Kevin wrote a wonderful, satirical piece on the many aggravations of working in an Italian restaurant and dealing with bullshit there. Beau and I had a somewhat academic discussion the other day on how the U.S. has developed such a strong service culture, and how it has sort of mutated from "the customer is always right" to "the customer is a fucking privileged, entitled fuckwit who must be given every demand and allowed any detestable behavior, or else!"

When studying abroad in France back in 1995, it took about 10 seconds for our group of 14 Americans to notice the harsh contrast in Europe's service culture. No, we weren't always right, we weren't always given a big smile and perfect service, and apologies were rarely forthcoming (along with the "we took that off your bill" or free meal many expect). When at an Asian restaurant in Gdansk, Poland, (yeah, I know, I was 22), I specifically (as I always do) asked for NO ONIONS! When my dish came, complete with onions, I complained politely. The waiter gave me an annoyed look, shrugged, and said, "Minimal!" before clomping off fin a huff. I just sat there, mouth agape.

There's just so much DEMAND now - demand, defiance, and entitlement. I have come to hate people with a sense of an entitlement just as much as I've come to hate arrogant or snobbish people, but they kind of all go together. And along with that entitlement is a sense in the United States, that we should have unlimited choice! Years ago when a Swedish friend, who had been living in the U.S. for awhile said, "God, it's just so convenient here," I didn't really get it. When I finally lived abroad, I really did. Not just choice in products, but the fact that things are close, transportation is (often) good, things are open very late or 24 hours, things are cheaper here (especially food, clothes, and home products), etc.

Of course, in part I blame Wally World. It has given people SO much choice, and such low prices (along with being open ALWAYS), that people have become spoiled. Example, female customer the other day:

FC: "Where are your kitchen rugs?"
J: "Right this way; I can show you." *leads her to the row of rugs, as instructed by Shop-n-Smile* "There you go."
FC: *Woman gazes at entire row of kitchen rugs, of which there are about 30 different kinds in various patterns. She pinches her face together and says, "Oh, is this IT? I thought there'd be more."
J: "There are actually several more along that wall right there" *pointing to wall featuring another 30 rugs in various colors/sizes*
FC: *Woman makes another snooty face* "Oh. Hmmm. Still."

This is not an atypical scene. I've noticed that if things are not DIRT cheap, or come in 64 colors, a la Crayola, people get instantly pissy. Shop-n-Smile has FIVE rows of bath towels/washclothes/bathroom rugs. FIVE! You can just imagine how many different colors that entails. People still come in and complain that there aren't enough colors. Especially if it doesn't happen to match THEIR bathroom. At that point, I just want to put my fist through their face.

This also happens with other things like sheets. For the most part, Shop-n-Smile sells the standard sheet set containing: fitted sheet, flat sheet, and two pillowcases (sometimes also with two shams). We also have SEVERAL rows of these sets, which range in quality from crappy-dorm-room sheets to super-high-end-for-company sheets, and all in between. Sateen, satin, flannel, 100% cotton, 100% polyester, half and half, micro-suede, jersey knit, etc. (do I know my shit, or what?). We have entire sheet sets for as low as $7.50, and as high as $100 (though the latter is constantly on sale for much less). Still, I can take people to a display of fairly decent sheet set for $20, and they are instantly offended at the price. Personally, I think that's a lot for $20! Yet, so often I have had people get huffy that they are "that expensive." Again, fantasies of pushing these people off a cliff enters my mind frequently.

So, I'm glad to be leaving Shop-n-Smile. No, overjoyed! The two weeks I have to wait are really torturous, and since I've been given extra shifts, feel like it's just DRAGGING. I do have to thank Shop-n-Smile for some things though. Like, for giving me a job in the first place when I needed one and there weren't many options. And two, for almost single-handedly furnishing and outfitting our apartment with everything from a dining room table, to dishes, bath towels, bed sheets, a shower curtain, picture frames, gardening and camping equipment, and various small appliances like my beloved little food chopper (pesto!). Beau and I had almost NOTHING with us when we first moved in. Now it finally looks like a home and the kitchen and bathroom have what they need. And I got almost all of it either on clearance or at the best price possible (along with my added store discount). That is a blessing. Too bad it took up a good chunk of each paycheck.

And please, in parting, let me speak to ALL women out there: Don't be ASSHOLES! Please! I know men do bad stuff too, but after my experiences at Barnes & Noble, Target, and Shop-n-Smile, the culprits, by FAR are women. Please take care of the following:

-- If you accidentally drop a shirt on the floor, Pick it the FUCK up and hang it back up. We're not your servants. Were you REALLY raised that way?
-- If you want to take out 10 rugs and spread them all over the floor to have a gander, fine, but PUT THEM BACK! Don't walk away, leaving a fucking mess behind that would shame you if broadcast on Youtube.
-- If you look at some towel or t-shirt and can't figure out how to re-fold it, that's okay, just put it back where you found it. We'll happily re-fold it for you. THAT is our job. Do NOT roll it up into a big ball and shove it behind the Cabbage Patch dolls.
-- Do NOT leave your half-eaten, half-drunk food around. It disgusts us and kind of frightens us in case you're diseased. I don't want to carry your half-drunk foamy Starbucks gunk to the trashcan any more than you do! And no, I'm not paid to do that for you. Neither was your fucking mom. Do it yourself!
-- If something you bought is broken/doesn't work, whatever, bring it back and let us know. We'll be happy to refund/exchange it for you. Don't be a righteous jerk and act like you were forced to endure some unspeakable horror. It's not that big of a deal. Seriously.
-- If you grabbed a pillow that you THOUGHT was $5.00, but is actually $10.00 because you didn't read the shelf label right, or read the price tag of the shelf NEXT to the item you're purchasing, do not DEMAND you get it for $5.00. You fucked up, or maybe, just maybe, some customer put it back in the wrong place. Mistakes happen. Chill. If the pillow is really mislabeled, we will ALWAYS give it to you for that price.
-- If you break something, ESPECIALLY if it's glass, tell us! We're not going to throw you in jail or force you to pay for it (really). We'll appreciate that you brought it to our attention, and we'll just defect it and get our money back. Hiding something like that where it can be found like some sort of awful surprise is not just dangerous, but fucking mean, and childish.
-- Despite the fact that most people in retail make shit money, they honestly do want to help you and even have a good time doing it (I often do with the right customer). Be nice, even if you're not satisfied. How you treat a sales clerk or a waiter/waitress says volumes about you.
-- Don't "threaten" us with how you'll go to Wally World instead if we don't do what you want or lower our prices instantly for YOU. Trust me, if you're being that much of a dickhead, we WANT you to leave and go somewhere else.
-- And lastly, don't open the fucking curtains!