Crushing on Columbia, True Love in New Zealand

There has been plenty going on in my life as of late, but it's really just been a flurry of packing, shipping, and ebay and craigslist listings, and even more hours, spent a bit less hecticly, in the public library, my current source of internet access. Not much to captivate bored blog readers. As we all know, it's a life of great devastation, whether real or imagined, that makes the best blog fodder.

In about one week, we will be leaving Columbia, MO and driving the now-trusty *raps furiously on wood* truck to Phoenix, AZ, my hometown (kinda), where we will visit some relatives and a high school buddy or two. I haven't been there since 2001, when I attended my disappointing and expensive 10-year high school reunion. It will be nice to see the desert again, but every time I've returned, since my eager exodus at 18 years old, I've felt rather out of place. Scottsdale and Phoenix, AZ are places of hyperbolic change and growth, a point that was brought home to me when driving on a new highway with a friend, and she had to point out the home I had grown up in since I didn't even recognize the area. I look back on the home now as rather ideal, even if the occupants within were not. A decent 3-bedroom house with 2 parking spaces (one covered). A lush and healthy olive tree out front - wastefully ignored by all except for me, who used the super-ripe purple olives as a substitute chalk on the sidewalk to draw out hopscotch grids and other such games. Better than chalk, in fact, since it left a nice stain that was as slow to come out as henna. In the back was a very large tree, of some generic sort, that had a remarkably perfect bottom bough that cradled a young child's legs perfectly, so she could swing upside down from it, or sit in it, swing-like.

Sometimes the backyard had ant lions, a childhood favorite of mine, where I ruthlessly pushed unsuspecting ants into the dangerous funnels just to watch 'Wild Kingdom' at work. A ginormous aloe vera plant, at home in the desert climate, grew like a weed and was handy for cuts and burns, though was unbelievably nasty when the gel was accidentally consumed. Lastly, there was the spider-infested, junk-overflowing shed next to the house, which served more as a makeshift ladder to climb to the roof, where I spent many a night either pretending I was some sort of goddess of the wind, or talking to God.

But one day, the government came and bought our house in order to expand the 2-lane highway squished between our house and the Pima Indian reservation, since naturally, the Indians gave the government a big "Fuck you" when asked if some of their land could be carved out for a highway. Little did I know, that a decade later, the highway would be built, many hundreds of feet INTO the reservation, and my childhood home would still be standing, rented out to who knows. I hope the reservation got a LOT of money for that monstrosity.

I have to admit, I will be sad to leave Columbia, Missouri. In a very short time, I have come to love this town. Mid-sized like Missoula and Madison, it too is a college town (with THREE of them, including the very large U of Missouri, or "Mizzou"). It's easy to get around, we're about 10 steps from the wonderful public library, it's lush and green and forestry, despite all the development, and there's lots of restaurants and stuff going on.

It's funny how one's relationship with the city one lives in can be very much like dating. Sometimes, you feel love at first sight.. You may not be able to put your finger on it, but you find it attractive, and it just feels like a good fit, like you belong there. You take a deep breath, and something inside you says, "Yes!" I have felt that in places like Oslo, Norway; Stockholm, Sweden; Paris, France; and of course, different parts of New Zealand. Other times, a place may not knock you over with an intense connection, but you still have a great fondness for it and know you could easily "make it work." I have felt that in Madison, WI; Amsterdam, Netherlands; southern France; parts of Poland; Luang Prabang, Laos; New York, NY; Spearfish, SD; and Sydney, Australia.

Other times, like a bad date, you just don't like the city. Maybe you can articulate it -- dirty/ugly, high cost of living, shitty weather, no opportunities, and at other times, as with instant infatuation, it's harder to pinpoint, you just know there's something about it that doesn't sit right with you, doesn't fit. I never enjoyed living in Bangkok, though I was grateful for its opportunities (and food!), but it was a place, even in its nicer areas (the north, the beaches), that I knew would never feel right. Warsaw, Missouri was a really lovely little town, with lots of green grass, big backyards, and a cornucopia of birds to delight, but for various reasons - it would never do. Missoula was certainly lovely, and had everything I need in a city, yet I never felt entirely comfortable there, even when things were going right, and often felt I was trying to force myself to love the city for its own sake. And today, though I am very thankful that I grew up in a clean, safe, affluent suburb (Scottsdale, AZ), with an ambitious, college-bound school culture, I know that living in that area would never suit who I am now. It's funny how one of the things I used to love the most about Arizona -- its utter newness, how everything was shiny, new, and WORKED, has now become a turn-off, a seeming lack of character. Not to mention, the skyrocketing average income of Scottsdale has made it a resort town and home to the filthy rich, which we know, would never be a place I'd feel comfortable.

Though Columbia doesn't have that magical, "I belong here" feel that I have felt in a few, choice other places, it is definitely a place I have really enjoyed and could see myself living in. I like it here! The only drawback is the sometimes-ungodly-humid weather, though while we've been here, it hasn't been that bad at all, and there have been a lot of really cool, beautiful days. My job is a bit of a pain in the ass, as faint-hearted me is frequently intimidated by the Strong Black Woman who is my boss, and frequently bored out of my mind with the endless and mind-numbing tediousness of the job itself, but hell, it was always a temporary gig, and so, not that big of a deal. Though I'll miss Columbia a lot, this crush is not the same as the true love I have felt for New Zealand.