Scariest. Bug. Ever

So, our new place is like in the middle of the woods...or as they say here, "the bush." It's so remote, it doesn't have a mailbox or its own water supply (besides a big cistern). It's kind of cool, cause it's very beautiful and isolated, but being so...rustic...means you get to meet all sorts of new friends.

Fucking scary friends.

It happened late last night when Beau went by the front door to call Fern, the cat in, who is now officially an outside/inside cat since without screens on the windows or doors, it is now impossible to keep her indoors (she climbs out the windows). Beau saw her playing with something and he went over to check.

Then I heard, "Hey J., get me something to pick up this bug with."

I went to grab some paper towels. "No, no," he said, "Like a jar or something...it's a really big spider." I ran back inside and grabbed an empty cranberry juice bottle. Beau scooped it up and brought it inside. I shrieked.

I'm not typically a shrieker. I tend to kill the bugs and save the shrieking for rats and stuff. But this bug scared the bajeezus out of me.

Meet the Weta. The most terrifying bug I have ever seen in my life, mostly because, and this is not a joke, it's the size of a hamster. It is "one of the largest and heaviest insects in the world." And as one website says, the weta "has changed very little in the past 100 million years" and predated the dinosaurs. Terrific!

To me, it looked like a ginormous ant right out of a B-movie. Attack of the killer ants! And they're pretty hard to kill as well. Someone

Beau brought it to work today and they quickly I.D'd it and then told him it had an unbelievably painful bite. Oh, and it scratches too. Fan-tastic! At least Beau saved little Fern, and himself, from that. *shiver*

Btw, "Weta" is a Maori word for the bug which can be translated to "God of Ugly Things." Uh huh.

One site says, "You can help save the Weta from extinction by treading carefully and putting Weta somewhere safe if you find them on the path." Hahahaha.

Okay, so Beau let it out in the woods....really far from our house. I hope it doesn't find its way back to seek revenge.