Eight-legged Freaks

Yes, we know that some movies pretend to be bad or try to grasp the spirit of the great B movies of the past. Alas! "Eight-legged Freaks" not only failed, but just might be the biggest piece of utter dog shit on the face of the Earth. I can safely say, without a shadow of a doubt, that it was the WORST movie I have ever seen. Of course, it didn't help that David Arquette was in it. A man who inspires me to violent acts -- between him and tha Bob Saget, I'm not sure whom I'd like to see suffer more. They're the two most unfunny people in the galaxy, though they seem to have a lot of self-confidence in this area. ANYWAY, although my good friend Mark had nothing good to say about "A Beautiful Mind" not only for its typical overcoming adversary and triumphing plot, but because of all it did NOT say. The book is still on my shelf, so I can't comment much on that, but at least I enjoyed that movie (though admittedly, I've had a 4th grade schoolgirl crush on Russell Crowe since Gladiator, a movie with a similar theme).

Eight-legged Freaks was SOOOOOO bad! I know what it was trying to do. It was a terrible copy of the success of movies like "Tremors." Tremors was fantastic! Scary and campy all in one. No apologies, but no shit either. Even "Sleepy Hollow" was scary while poking fun at itself (mostly through the bumbling Johnny Depp character). I can't even remember the last time I wanted to walk out of a movie. Besides, movies are so few and far between here, it's not like there's a buffet of choices.

I could go into a long and detailed critique of exactly WHY it was so bad, but I won't. This is mostly for me to vent at my anger of something so totally crappy being put on the screen. Even the disappointing "Queen of the Damned," didn't make me want to start a riot in the movie theater. Being in the bubble of Bangkok, I don't know how this film went over in the United States, but I hope to god it didn't make more than $45 at the box office.

Okay, I wanna go read now. I'm obsessed with finishing another book this weekend since I'm halfway through them all.