Bureaucracy Will Some Day Kill Me (Or I Will Kill Beau)

I just can't shake that "two steps forward, one step back" feeling when it comes to bills and such, since although I have been dutifully paying some off, new ones, some expected, some a surprise, keep appearing. Beau and I are both terrible money managers, and though I think I've been improving nicely in the past decade, (even my credit score has made an impressive leap upward!), problems still ensue. I thought I was going to weep when I just got a letter from the IRS that I didn't report $1100 from 2005! Huh? I couldn't figure out what the hell it was about, until I called my old job and they informed me it was for "extra" data entry work I had done for them on the side - what I had always assumed was included in that "wages, salaries and tips" line. Wrong, dumbass! I had received my W-2 from from them back in 2006, but never the 1099 form for this "extra money," and therefore, never reported it. As a 1040EZ veteran, something like a 1099 is not familiar territory. Now, the thought of having to go through the bureaucratic nightmare of figuring this out, filling out paperwork, and possibly paying back taxes on that money NOW is just so depressing.

It doesn't help that my husband can be as stubborn as an ornery mule when pushed to do something, particularly something as unpleasant as dealing with bills. Recently, we were hit with an unusually high cellphone bill (it took a magnifying glass, and both of us perusing the 24 pages of ridiculousness for about a half hour to figure out what the fuck was going on with the thing), but the new pain in the ass was when our car insurance was just dramatically jacked up. This did not have to happen if my beloved Beau had *ahem* acted a tad faster, (notice due date for documents in 28-point Arial font on car insurance bill) but his excruciatingly slow, "I'll do it when I do it" attitude - in this instance getting his old insurance company to fax me the proper paperwork for our new one - has resulted in the rate hike. Though Beau was not the original cause, Montana was.

There's this demented law in Montana (surprise), that if you haven't had car insurance for the past three years, then your premiums get hiked up to the sky (almost DOUBLE what we were originally charged). I'm the main person on the policy, and for, well, 2 1/2 of the past three years I was in NYC, where, like, almost no one drives, including myself, hence, no car insurance. But Progressive didn't seem quite satisfied with that explanation, though true. I haven't even OWNED a car since 2000 when I sold it before moving to Thailand. Then I briefly moved in with Beau in Missouri, where he put me on his insurance, then shortly thereafter we were in NZ, where we also had insurance (but we'll be dammed if we can find proof of that now). So, Progressive is demanding proof from him for the past three years. So, after -weeks- of my being annoying-nag-of-the-universe, and his passive resistance, he FINALLY called his old insurance people, who were nasty, and in turn, reluctant to oblige him. When they finally faxed us "proof of insurance," it was utterly useless, showing only the last few months of his coverage (he'd already left the country for most of it) and how he had NOT paid his policy. They actually used marker and several exclamation points to emphasize their indignation at the top of the fax.

This is not entirely correct. What happened is that he put me on his policy, then left for NZ about six weeks before me. Left behind, I went in person to the insurance office, informed them that I would like to cancel the policy when it ran out in September anyway. My not being Beau, they refused. "I'm his wife and on the policy," I said. They couldn't give two shits. "He's out of the country and cannot come in and cancel," I said. They were unsympathetic. Finally, they gave me a single sheet of paper, informed me that when I got to NZ he should sign it, and fax it back.

Well, let's just say that Beau is claiming I never ever gave him this form *splutter cough* and so therefore, it never happened *choke* and he never sent it. *fume* Well folks, before I kill my lovely husband, let me -confidently- claim that not only do I remember handing him the form, but I remember subsequently nagging him repeatedly to "get it faxed ASAP." I have a faint recollection of the insurance office not being TOO concerned about the whole matter though, since the policy would naturally run out in September anyway, and though not "officially" cancelled, it would just...end. I couldn't back this up in court though.

Anyway, he called them again on Friday, informing them that the past three YEARS, not months, was what was needed. They seemed pretty pissed off at this inconvenience and said they "would try" to get something faxed to me but it might take awhile (maybe it's something in the water in Missouri). Well, now it's Monday and the fax machine sits silent. Bastards.

Too bad Beau doesn't have any good life insurance policies....