I Want to Go Back to New Zealand

I want to go back to New Zealand. Really, really want to go back.

Sure, I recognize that part of this desire may be due to the fact that Beau and I have been so unsuccessful at getting our lives STARTED here in Missoula. I also recognize that although I loved NZ to bits, that I did not love being unemployed to bits (well, after the first few weeks of "ahhhhh" passed). But I also know that I didn't want to leave, and now that Beau has had some time to reflect on his experiences, he has come to see how valuable our time there was and would like to return too (albeit in a different school with perhaps a different focus and a bit more structure). I find with each passing day I itch more and more to go back. But it's not so easy. To try and organize my thoughts, I've made this list:

PRO's:

a) Beau is at the very highest salary level possible for a NZ teacher (determined after about eight grueling months of assessment by the NZ Qualifications Authority). This is because Beau is experienced, educated, and a fucking incredible teacher. So once hired, he'd be guaranteed that salary and we would be making some moola for once!!

b) New Zealand is the most beautiful place I have ever seen, and without sounding like a god damn pretentious butthead, I've seen lots of places and feel I can make a somewhat good comparison. As I've gotten older, I've found living somewhere beautiful has become a big priority for me. NYC is so much fun and Bangkok was good for the cash flow, but in the end, I want to look outside and -breathe deeply- and feel good. I noticed that just looking at the ocean in NZ made me physically and mentally feel better.

c) The weather in New Zealand is ALWAYS temperate, meaning that in many places, the temperature is ALWAYS between like 50 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit. Now this doesn't mean it doesn't rain a lot in the north or snow a lot in the very far south (it does), but overall, the weather is always nice, and that range is PURRRRFECT to me! I like it always a little cool. I'm not a sun-n-tan person. One look at my transparent skin would tell you that. Furthermore, I've lived in a lot of EXTREME climate places: Arizona, Wisconsin, Montana, Thailand, even Strasbourg, France which rained nearly every damn day. I'd like something a bit more...stable and middle of the road.

d) It's a good place to settle down. There's a VERY high rate of home ownership in NZ and the whole country is like one giant suburb - green, clean, and safe (with a few exceptions in specific areas of the "big cities"). And as dumb as this statement sounds, people are nice. I might have mentioned this little story before, but if not, here it goes again: Back in Madison, a professor friend of mine took a sabbatical in New Zealand for six months. On the way there, he and his wife (and kids) stopped by in Sydney, Australia first for a quick little vacation before settling in NZ. A few days later as they boarded the plane to continue on to NZ, his wife said, "Wow, the Australians are so nice!" They then spent the next six months living on the south island of NZ. When his sabbatical was over and it was time to fly home to the US, they decided to once again stop in Australia for a little jaunt. As they boarded the plane to the US a few days later, his wife said, "God damn the Australians are so fucking rude!" Gives you a clue to the "friendliness" of the Kiwis. (Sorry, Ozzies!)

So, to continue on with "d," if we ever have kids, I think it would be a wonderful place to raise them.

CON's:

a) We're kinda broke right now and the fact that we cashed in one of Beau's retirement policies to go the first time (which seemed like an okay idea at the time since we planned on living in NZ forever), still bothers me a bit. I don't think we could muster up that amount of cash again, and we maxed out our credit cards to get there the first time. We haven't had time to get them back to their original state since then. I've never let a lack of cash prevent me from traveling in the past (obviously), and I'd hate for it to prevent us from returning to NZ now, especially since neither of us is getting any younger and would really like to be able to get our lives and careers GOING. We are both feeling very anxious about that fact, not to mention, that the longer it takes me for me to get a job, the longer til I'll have the option to get pregnant (meaning, I'd like to be at a job for AT LEAST a year before going on maternity leave). At least NZ has a fantastic maternity leave policy.

b) My getting a job might not be so simple. I don't have as easily a marketable skill as Beau. I'm pretty sure now that I could get a job as an ESL teacher, but due to crazy visa problems, I would probably be entering the country on a "you can't work, tag-along wife" visa which are a total bitch to change (I know Jera understands this). New Zealand only has like 4 1/2 million people, so the job market is not enormous. I'm pretty sure the ESL thing would pan out and I've been doing my research the past couple weeks and sending out some feelers, but there are no guarantees.

c) Most likely I'd have to give up Sabina, my cat of 13 years. We brought her along the first time, but that was because we had the six months of required vet visits before us and the $3000 bill it would cost (transport, laboratory tests, vet fees, and quarantine). We probably wouldn't have the time, and certainly not the cash for it (we didn't actually know the first time it would be -quite- that much money, but it was, little by little). This would make me very very sad, but my mother has already agreed to take her, and my mother loves Bina, so that would be...okay. I'd still feel like an asshole.

d) New Zealand is far. Like Planet Mars far. No one would visit, and if, god forbid, something happened to a family member in the next year or two, it would be very difficult for one or both of us to return to the US quickly. I think it would be easier for me to abandon all ties than Beau, but it doesn't mean it would be EASY, period.

So, there you go...I've obviously thought it out a bit. Should we stay or should we go? Your thoughts?