This Gnome Used to Have Some Dignity

It wasn't that long ago that I was walking across our carpark and Tonks starting barking her head off at some of the ground cover along the house. This groundcover is a plant with long, thick green blades...like grass gone B-movie.

She was still going at it, her hackles up, and I peered into the plants and saw something. My heart leapt into my throat. An animal? There are only so many four-legged critters in New Zealand, most of them introduced pests of some sort. This was something little and orange.

Taking a closer look, I saw that it was one of a few gnomes that the owners had decorated their gardens with. It had hair, a cute little straw hat, some sort outerwear, and feet the size of a hobbit. Somehow it had spooked Tonks into believing it was an animate object. Who knows? Maybe it comes alive when your back is turned. I calmed her down and went back inside.

A few days later, the gnome had mysteriously disappeared.

A day after that...I found the straw hat laying in the front yard, on the other side of the house. Bits of his hair were strewn here and there.

*sigh*

I had to assume foul play. I only have one suspect.

I finally found his body....far from his original post or his hat or hair. And here he stands today. Poor thing. It's going to take a lot of therapy to get over this shit.