Queen's Got Boobs

On my lunch break, hurrying to the electronics store to try and get a hands-free set, I found myself stymied. The street was...blocked. Even if I could have pushed my way through the substantial crowd, mostly male, with jaws hanging open and camera phones clicking away, I wouldn't have been able to get across. I saw a warning about it on the news before I left for work this morning, so I should have expected it. Still, you're never quite prepared to stumble upon a meandering march of women's breasts.

There's a big "erotica" expo going on this weekend, so by tradition, today was "Boobs on Bikes," which is a parade down Queen (the main downtown street) featuring porn stars, and other-related sex workers (and all their tranny friends) riding along topless (well, the trannies were modestly covered).

Nudity's a funny thing, especially when you're an American and you've got all the Puritanical pervy prudeness about you. A naked woman is a *gasp* shocking shocking thing! Look, look away! OMG!

But what always interests me, is how the interest so quickly wanes. I get my first glimpse of breasts. And my internal monologue goes something like this:

"OMG, those are those NAKED WOMEN the news warned me about! They're really here. They really are TOPLESS! OMG. There's one! *gasp* There's another! Her boobs are so different *cranes neck to see between the cracks of eager guys lining the street* More boobs! Holy shit, there's that SUPER BOOB woman they talked about! Doesn't her back hurt??? Oooooh that woman's nipples are brown...mine are so pink and stuff... wow.. ...."

--30 seconds--

"... oh, more women. More breasts. Hmm... interesting. Wow, hers are droopy... yeah..."

--30 seconds--

"Hmmm I really need to get across this street."

--10 seconds--

"WTF, enough with the breasts already. I get it. Breasts, all shapes and sizes. I'm over it. My lunch hour is TICKING AWAY. I haven't even bought my lunch yet! Move it, tits on wheels!"

Oh well....I guess they got all the publicity they needed, even if it did inconvenience me for a short while.