It seems to be a common theme with all my fellow bloggers lately, we haven't blogged. I could blame Facebook or real life, but blah, I just haven't felt too inspired.
But I've had a couple of emails from people who are (shockingly!) not glued to my Facebook page in anticipation of my fascinating status updates, so I'll do it here. As usual, I'll say I'll keep it short and fail miserably.
I'm back in the bush with Beau, and once every 2-4 weeks we travel two hours to a nearby "big" city, sit in the small room of a very talented, though very expensive therapist, and hash it all out. It's exhausting, difficult, sometimes even anger or tear-filled, but totally worth it, even if paying the bill causes both of us physical pain. Honestly, without it, we wouldn't have made it this far. That sounds dreary, I know, but it's really just the truth. It's also the truth that in some ways, our relationship is better than ever before. I find that I feel a lot lighter, in a sense.
Best of all, there have been a lot of changes in both of us that seem to have stuck. That's really the key, being able to permanently change some bullshit you've been causing in relationships forever. It's pretty tough, because you get so comfortable in who you are, even the shitty stuff you claim to hate about yourself, and changing's a major pain in the ass. Luckily, the lady's good and we're willing.
I've started working at the school Beau teaches at. It's been wonderful in some ways. I began in the office, covering for the school's secretary (they still use that word frequently here, and it still makes me wince). It was a non-stop, go-go-go job, but one I could do with my eyes closed and standing on my head. The pay was about $5/hour less than Auckland, YIKES, but I was told that was "good" compared to other jobs around here, that some people took a 50% cut in salary once they came back to the bush. Uh huh. Anyway, I liked the contact with the kids, the ease yet energy of the job, and the short hours. Going home at 2:30 or 3:00pm every day ROCKS!
When that stint ended they asked me to serve in another capacity - a little difficult to explain. The colloquial term here is "tracker" though more knowledgeable people seem to take offense at it. It's similar to a "para" in an American school. Basically, I sit all day with one student, a primary school boy of 10 years whom I'll call "Trucker." Trucker's got some major behavioral and learning problems and a family background that would make you cry and dash over and hug your kids RIGHT NOW. Overall, he's a pretty sweet boy and my heart just bleeds for him. They've got him on drugs which I admit, I approve of. Not just because they're the same drugs that have been prescribed to me in the past for ADD, but when he doesn't take them, controlling him becomes "challenging" (a MAJOR understatement).
When Trucker does take it, I do my best to get him to do a little bit of work in each subject, learn something new, and not kill any other students. So far, I've been wildly successful and have received a lot of positive comments. And his absence rate went from 50% to zero. It's really all about him, though. He just needs a lot of love and a little push and he does just fine.
I've also LOVED getting back into teaching, though I'm being generous with the word. I find it REALLY hard not to just assert myself as a teacher, since I was one for 3 1/2 years and loved it, and feel like I know what to do. But I have to keep telling myself that I'm supposed to mainly observe, record, and help Trucker (or others if they ask), NOT run the classroom.
It's a weird situation - like a one-room school house from Little House on th
e Prairie. There are children in there as young as five and as old as ten years old. There's a main teacher and an assistant. The main teacher is quite good, but it's not easy teaching all these kids and all these levels at one time. The assistant's a really nice lady, but classroom control is not her forte. And there are several kids in there with some real issues that could rival Trucker's. Not to mention many come from MASSIVE pot-growing/gang homes. I can't tell you how many times a kid has told me, "My dad's in the Mongrel Mob, you better watch out!" (Mongrel Mob is the Maori equivalent of Crypts or Bloods in the U.S.). Parents will even send their kids to school dressed in the "colors" of their gang.
e Prairie. There are children in there as young as five and as old as ten years old. There's a main teacher and an assistant. The main teacher is quite good, but it's not easy teaching all these kids and all these levels at one time. The assistant's a really nice lady, but classroom control is not her forte. And there are several kids in there with some real issues that could rival Trucker's. Not to mention many come from MASSIVE pot-growing/gang homes. I can't tell you how many times a kid has told me, "My dad's in the Mongrel Mob, you better watch out!" (Mongrel Mob is the Maori equivalent of Crypts or Bloods in the U.S.). Parents will even send their kids to school dressed in the "colors" of their gang. I've never seen kids like this though. Beau's been telling me for years, and now I see it in person. Teachers hearing a "fuck you" is a daily occurrence, and often students are just damn cruel, to each other, AND to the teachers. Kids are caught smoking cigarettes or pot EVERY DAY, and a couple of the little ones have even tried to hit me (it was the last time they ever tried that!). Destruction of property, especially the schools, is really just sad. Students will just sit there and snap pencil after pencil. And one that really pisses me off - rampant stealing.
Getting them to do any homework is a joke, and the absentee rate is shocking. It's not unusual for a student to miss a whole week, just 'cause. There's one kid who only comes to school every 21 days, with his mother's consent! She needs him there in that timeframe to collect welfare checks for him, but otherwise, she couldn't give a shit whether he comes to school or not. And he doesn't.
Getting them to do any homework is a joke, and the absentee rate is shocking. It's not unusual for a student to miss a whole week, just 'cause. There's one kid who only comes to school every 21 days, with his mother's consent! She needs him there in that timeframe to collect welfare checks for him, but otherwise, she couldn't give a shit whether he comes to school or not. And he doesn't.
And I know kids naturally tend to scuffle, but these kids, from the wee ones up through high school, seem ready to tear each other's face off at the drop of the hat. They have NO fear. A five year old will jump a nine year old with no problem. I personally break up anywhere from 1-10 fights a day, though it's usually just little kids pummeling each other, followed by heaps of tears. Beau, on the other hand, has broken up several fights with high school students, and that's some scary shit sometimes, especially when several join in. Some of these Maori boys are NOT small and even tower over Beau, who is a rather large man.
It sounds like I'm describing the worst school ever, but overall it's not doing too terribly. It definitely needs some work, but the principal works his ass off and the teachers, though occassionally demoralized, are good people who work hard.
And of course, I find I love being around the little kids. I'm just "gosh shucks awww"ing all over them. The little girls are all already in love with me, vying to hold my hand or give me a hug, and I frequently go home with at least one picture drawn for me. As for the boys, depends on their mood; they vacillate between love and hate for me, usually depending on what they think I'm letting them get away with. But I love them all. Even the little buttheads. Don't know how long it will last though. I'm there on some emergency funding which lasts for a few more weeks. Who knows after that? I would LOVE to get back to my book which has been snail-pacing along.
And of course, I find I love being around the little kids. I'm just "gosh shucks awww"ing all over them. The little girls are all already in love with me, vying to hold my hand or give me a hug, and I frequently go home with at least one picture drawn for me. As for the boys, depends on their mood; they vacillate between love and hate for me, usually depending on what they think I'm letting them get away with. But I love them all. Even the little buttheads. Don't know how long it will last though. I'm there on some emergency funding which lasts for a few more weeks. Who knows after that? I would LOVE to get back to my book which has been snail-pacing along.
I still work nights doing that online text service thing, but overall it's been a pretty big disappointment and the organization is in a constant state of chaos. Seems every few days there's another memo sent out with another set of rules, more scolding of various employees, etc. And just recently, they LOWERED the rates they pay (We get paid for each question answered, not our time online). They have heaps of justifications for this, but really, in the end it's just bullshit. That wouldn't even be so bad if there were questions AVAILABLE to answer, but when you're scheduled for a couple hours at night, you're already tired from working during the day, and you sit there, staring at a blank computer screen (and there are 4 other "agents" on with you doing the same thing), it gets a bit annoying. Bummer, really. It's a COOL concept for a job, and great for me as I live out here in the Land of Nearly No Jobs, but we'll see what happens.
Being back here in the sunny Bay of Plenty (I don't know why they keep calling this region "sunny" since the weather seems rather uniform across the north island) is rather soothing. I miss Auckland, a lot actually, but I also love it here. When I'm outside walking around the grounds, with the green all around me and the river and ocean in the distance... I have Tonks trotting happily beside me, trailing behind her usually 2 of the 3 cats, and trailing even farther, the "chooks" (chickens) tottering along...I feel full. I feel just happy. I'm happy to be back with Beau and have a lot of hope for us. Part of me would like to stay here forever, but I also know I'd eventually go fairly batty. I need to be just a bit closer to active civilization, fast food, Asian grocery stores, movie theaters, bookstores and of course, restaurants that sell more than pot pies and deep fried fish.
For now, that's just a few hours drive away....
