Waiting to Exhale

I never realized what an impact one of my bosses had on me until it was announced he wouldn't be in today. I suddenly find myself feeling remarkably more relaxed and at ease, despite the fact that I'm the lucky one, because where I sit is separated from everyone else, so I don't get the grief that they do. He's one of those bosses that make you feel like you have to sit up a bit straighter in your chair when he's around and be careful you don't do or say anything "inappropriate" (like me stuffing a doughnut in my face).

For the most part, I've thought that he hasn't really affected me as much as he has the others, both because of the seclusion of my desk and because I don't care as much (being a temp keeps you somewhat emotionally detached...somewhat). I've also been lucky that he hasn't blown up at me yet. One guy even mentioned, "Man, I've been surprised he hasn't gone after you yet. I keep hoping he won't." Naturally, I don't typically do anything that would warrant any kind of "blowing up" in the workplace, but the kind of bosses who do that, aren't always entirely predictable. I've suffered several sarcastic, condescending remarks which were fairly uncalled for (usually having to do with him being unintelligible), but those don't bug me much considering the circumstances.

So, when it was announced he wouldn't be in today, I felt like a tight balloon that had just deflated a little. Ahhh. It surprised and slightly disappointed me at how strong the relief was. But oh well, might as well enjoy it.

I know I've been pretty hush hush about my current long-term temp day job, but that's mostly to save my own butt. And because I do like working at this institution and would hate for some ridiculous person to take my words and make a bigger deal out of them than they truly are. I was talking to April (hi April!), a childhood friend of mine on the phone the other night and I told her about how in the past year or so, I've noticed an upsurge in people "finding" my blog and responding (typically through the email account I provide). Most of it is positive, but sometimes someone gets offended if I didn't say something swimmingly spectacular about something they hold dear. And you know how the internet is - people can be vicious, and show a side you don't typically see when confronted face to face. Mean people suck! I've also had very interesting emails, usually from people who don't identify themselves, who either have additional, intriguing information after reading one of my blogs, or have followed up on something I've written. It's both flattering and a bit startling. The world is a big, fantastic, kinda scary, place.

So, today should be a good day, since I don't work at Shop-n-Smile tonight (Praise God!), and Scary Man won't be here. (Enter doughnut!). The only downside is that I never have enough to do (*ahem* hence the near daily-blog). I will be given a project to do, will do it and hand it back, and after getting one of those ,"Man, that was fast," comments, will wait while someone scrambles to give me something else. It's a weird line you walk as a temp. Do something too fast and too efficiently, then you become this annoying person that they have to keep "finding work" for. Do it too slowly, and everyone hates you for being a drag on the office and a waste of cash. So, although I do feel guilty for blogging, emailing, and taking care of personal finances and "stuff" during the day, I don't know what else to do besides sit here and look cute, and well, come on, I already do that!

Things should get better when the other boss (the female one) gets back and gives me one of her cool, "thinking" projects to do (as opposed to something that involves a copy machine or three-hole punch). That always makes me feel like I'm really earning my keep, and they tend to be interesting to boot.

Until then, blog on sister, blog on!