Que Sera Sera

The "Life on Pause" situation we've been feeling for the past ten months continues on, but at least now, there's a little bit of hope. A little.

After what seems like years, but in reality was only a few month's worth of numerous conversations of weighing options, financial plans, job realities, future dreams, and one very thorough Pro & Con list by yours truly, we've decided that we'd like to give New Zealand another go. BUT.

It's really not that simple. Besides the fact that we'd have less money this time (ugh), it's not like we can just buy a plane ticket and leave. One of us (really, Beau) has to procure a job first, and as you can imagine, trying to get a teaching job in a country an ocean away, basically via phone and email, is not so easy. I know that as the supervisor of teachers in Bangkok, I never hired anyone from overseas, despite our constant need for employees. It was too big of a risk to have someone move their entire life to Thailand where most did not adjust very well, unless they had a penchant for hookers and silos of beer. The one time I did it - with a friend - it went disastrously wrong. "Did it" as in hiring a friend, not doing the hookers and beer part. *cough*

At least we have our first experience under our belt, so we have an idea of what to expect, what we need to do, etc. It's perfect timing right now. The New Zealand school year begins in early 2008, so now's the time they begin hiring teachers. We've got a subscription to THE job notification system, and have been compiling a list of possibilities. Unfortunately, it's not as long as we'd like, but it IS a country of just 4 million people. How many Biology teachers can they need?

We've sent out about a half dozen applications so far. All have been to rather sizable cities, New Zealand-wise, (Auckland, Christchurch, Wellington). It's weird - both of us have this same feeling - it's like we're both really really hopeful and excited - and at the very same time, we're pretty much pessimistic, since we know the reality. Besides, we just don't have the strength to be blindly optimistic right now, so we're subtly vibrating with hope.

The first school Beau taught in was a tiny rural school with an ongoing shortage of teachers and a tradition of hiring foreigners (a South African replaced Beau after he left). We don't think schools in Auckland or Christchurch have the same problem.

But, Beau has both his fantastic experience in the U.S. and his time in a challenging New Zealand classroom on his side. Maybe...just maybe.

And though we are both desperate for good work, we're trying to be very certain that it's not a move of desperation. The other day I was perusing photos on a group on Facebook dedicated to living in New Zealand. So many of the places were familiar and I was really struck by a longing to return. It's not just about leaving Montana, though I certainly want to do that, it's about BEING in New Zealand. I don't just want to get a job there, but I want to be there, walking around, looking at the ocean and feeling the cool air. I want to raise a child there. I want to experience the rest of my life there, in a place that's big enough for all I need and small enough for what I want. That was one thing that seemed to separate me from many of the others on Facebook commenting on their favorite NZ city - they all lauded the touristy places - Queenstown and Wanaka for their ample winter and adventure activities, Rotorua and Wellington for their cultural ones, and Auckland for all a big city can offer you (like jumping off the Auckland Skytower like a lunatic). These were all turn-offs to me. Turn-offs in that I was approaching it a different way. When I think of New Zealand, I think of places I'd love to buy a house, get a job, have a baby, and just live the rest of my life in. Cities like Dunedin and Tauranga came quickly to mind. They're my favorites because they're where I want to BE, not where I want to PLAY.

If it doesn't work out, well, at least we gave it an honest try. As for Missoula, as Beau says, "we just gotta keep doing what we're doing," and not get bogged down in disappointments. It could always be worse. *knocks on wood frantically*

Back in 2002 when I decided I wanted to move to New Zealand, I had many ideas and reasons that were important to me. Those reasons haven't changed. And maybe, just maybe, I can get into rugby as much as Beau. I'll certainly never get into it as much as the Kiwis.