Winds of Change

Over the past couple of months I've shared with you my struggles, ill luck, and disbelief over our misadventures in Missoula. And believe it or not, I haven't told you everything. Some because it's too private, and some because I was starting to feel like a big whiny baby. Though both Beau and I have felt a range of negative emotions from discouragement to outright Depression (with the BIG "D"), as Beau says, "You just gotta keep plugging away at it. There isn't any other choice." Of course, he's right.

When I got my temp job at the university and began that familiar walk across a grassy collegial campus, I felt my first sense of relief, and for a moment, a spark of hope and happiness. Something good had finally happened, something that was headed in the right direction.

And then, the second job at the university came along, much faster than I expected. What I haven't told you yet is the drama of the past few days -- of my first experience with some aggressive poaching (I had some non-aggressive poaching attempted on me in NYC). I'd love to write some of it out, but I'm a bit cautious. Knowing my luck, I'll detail all that went down and some university official will read this and I'll be canned in no time. I've felt so unlucky lately that I think I'm becoming superstitious. *rubs rabbit foot*

Just a sidenote, but did you all ever own a rabbit's foot when you were a kid? I can remember owning SEVERAL (though not at the same time). Now when I look at the photos, I'm a bit grossed out. I carried a dead rabbit's foot, complete with pointy toenails and an outrageously-colored dye job, around as a key chain -- as if I owned any keys then -- rubbing it happily here and there. Ewwww!

*cough* Anyway, poaching is a familiar phenomenon on university campuses, though typically it's the professors who are sneakily snatched away by an outside university, not a temp snatched away from another department. I'm certainly flattered and thankful to get a higher position with better pay, and with the possibility of benefits, something that has become a VERY big deal in every American's life, but the whole process has left me feeling awkward, embarrassed, and uneasy.

And my good luck continued when the two women in my current department were nothing but gracious, kind, and supportive of the whole thing. Sure, they weren't thrilled to lose me, but they understood that this was a chance at a really good job and what I was doing for them was helpful, but not rocket science. I felt so thankful toward them I bowed and scraped all day. I wanted to do something for them, flowers, candy, a plaque. And I'll be sorry to be leaving them. I've come to really like them in the past few weeks.

I don't know why I always expect the worst from most people, that people will be angry, uncivilized, will misunderstand. I don't consider myself a pessimist, but I think Beau does. He's not the first to tell me I always imagine the worst out of every situation.

I read that Michael Douglas calls Catherine Zeta-Jones the Queen of Gloom and Doom or something to that effect. Even better, once upon a time, Sting and his longtime love, Trudie Styler, were in lawn chairs sunbathing. Suddenly Sting says, "Look, there's a little black spot on the sun today." And Trudie responded, "Oh god, here we go again, it's the King of Pain."

And a song was born.

So, I guess I'm not the only one.

Anyway, tomorrow is day one in "The Serious Office." I will up my clothes from office casual to office professional. I will keep my head down and do what I'm told 'til I get my bearings. I will work hard. I will impress. I will kick some administrative ass.

Maybe my luck has finally begun to change...