For now, things ar
e going okay. I am a bit uncomfortable because the woman I replaced did not exactly leave of her own volition, and naturally, she had friends in the office, so there's quite a bit of tension. And me being the person who replaced her makes me a target. A few have been very nice to me, in fact, extremely nice, and a few have been difficult. It's one thing to be cold to the newcomer who replaced your friend, but I think some others are acting out their unhappiness in other ways.Basically, it's the, every-misstep-is-noted-and-heavily-criticized thing. There's one woman, that every time I ask her a simple question, and I mean simple question, will give me a five-minute, utterly condescending lecture that makes me want to claw my eyes out. I've totally avoided asking her anything at this point.
But for now, I will try to be understanding and patient. I'll take it for awhile. For awhile. It's not the kind of atmosphere I'd tolerate forever, but I understand this place is in radical transition, in a lot of other ways besides my own piddly position. And I also am trying to get used to their VERY. PARTICULAR. way of doing everything, and anything. It's fine, despite the fact that it doesn't exactly fit my personality. I can adapt.
While at Shop-n-Smile, I got a compliment I have never heard from an employer before, despite my years of promotions and merit raises: "Thanks for having such attention to detail!" I wanted to laugh. If there was ever a weakness in my administrative quiver of skills, it's my lack of attention to detail. In fact, my very first job in college was with the American Heart Association where I worked as the assistant to an assistant. She was a super nice woman named Mary who had big giant blue eyes and a big giant heart. At some point they gave me a performance review, something I had never experienced in my life after my high school jobs at movie theaters and Arby's. I was praised over and over again for this and that skill, for my hard work, etc. But what do you think it was I remember? Of course, me, The Queen of Darkness only remembers the single criticism I received: "You could probably pay a little bit more attention to detail." It stung pretty badly at the time. Now I laugh because it's true.
It's really just impatience, I think. I actually enjoy working hard and doing a good job, but I just don't have the patience to be meticulous, to have that slow hand, to move with great deliberation. Thankfully, I am much more organized than I once was, but details bore the snot out of me. It's affected a lot of my artwork 'cause I just can't be bothered with some of the steady hand, slow movements necessary in painting or pottery.
Anyway, as for the job front, the only thing that's really irking me now, is that my "good job," the day job, which has much higher pay and the potential for more, is just that, potential. I'm still a temp with no benefits. This job opens up as a permanent position in another month or two, and there's no guarantee it's mine. I've been dying to quit Shop-n-Smile, but can't, knowing it's my *irk* "stable" job. Furthermore, I just saw ANOTHER university position open up that fits me so well (it has to do with international students), but the thought of applying for ANOTHER university job and then quitting THIS (another) university job just makes me want to vomit.
It's funny, we moved to Missoula so that we would have these stable, successful, enjoyable lives, and so far, it's been wildly unstable, not even remotely successful, and we haven't had any time (or cash) to enjoy it. I've never been in such a confusing, crazy job market (and I thought NYC was tough!) where everyone's a low-level temp and yet everyone thinks they're living in the Garden of Eden. It doesn't cease to blow our minds.
I was just reading the "letters to the editor" section of the local newspaper, and someone wrote in complaining that children were all fucked up not because of the parents, but because of the teachers, and get this, the writer complained bitterly that the teachers get decent benefits and that a starting teacher's salary was an indulgent $32,000!
Oh yeah, $32,000! Beau and I will be taking bi-annual trips to Bermuda on that kind of cash!! Woo hoo! The gluttony of over-paid, underworked teachers!
Asshole.
2 comments:
I get the impression that people who complain about stuff like 'high' teacher salaries are like the locals here who complained when they raised property taxes here two years ago (which, yearly on our average priced home, comes out to a bit under $600). They have never been out in the Big Wide World, so their point of reference is stuck somewhere circa 1950.
(In related news, they just raised property taxes here again, which will raise them a whopping...$160 on a $200,000 home. One council person said 'Well, I haven't voted for a tax increase yet, and I won't start now.' I guess he expects to pay for services with a bake sale or something.)
I think you hit it on the nail, since many people I've met in Montana are from somewhere else in Montana, somewhere smaller (which is not hard since I think Missoula is the 2nd biggest city). Some have even mentioned how big and scary Missoula was when they first moved here. To me, Missoula is simply a smaller, more industrial, more of a throwback version of Madison. I was astonished when I found out yesterday that the ENTIRE state has less than a million people!
It's actually the same mentality that NY'ers had about rent -- "Everyone wants to live here, that's why rent is so ridiculous!" They had a point, I'm not sure about here. It is a beautiful place, but I've seen more beautiful places (yes, this is subjective), that didn't have that same "snobbish" (as Beau would say) mentality.
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